Yeah, I Couldn’t Resist

So NYC got 20 inches of snow. It happens almost every year. For some reason, the news has turned on Mayor Bloomberg for not handling the situation correctly. To his credit, he agreed. Most likely a political statement, but unnecessary in my opinion.

I mean come on, NYC is in the North East. And in case you don’t know, it gets cold here and snows. Since NYC is positioned by the ocean, the snow doesn’t come as often as in other parts of the U.S. But it does happen, every year since I’ve lived here.

If you have ever walked the streets of New York, you see cars parked everywhere. Imagine a snowplow getting through. They are large machines. Imagine clearing out 20 inches in a day. It just can’t happen.

He has been a great Mayor, and yet Bloomberg gets abused for his lack of response to the sudden snowstorm? And as an aside, we have been blessed by good Mayors for some time.

Also, I little known fact, snow melts. Yes, it does, maybe not as quickly in Norway, but yeah, it does melt. In just a day or two in New York, like it did this time.

So blame the Mayor? I don’t want this blog to be political so let me bring it all together for my own integrity. The word we love to use in the business is 360 marketing. Used to be “Integrated.” Before that, “The Whole Egg.” Whichever you choose as your silly reference to marketing, they all include PR (Public Relations). In this case, the news lambasted Mr. Bloomberg for not cleaning up snow (PR).

I have seen worse snowstorms here. I have walked down the barren streets when I thought nobody wanted to be outside. Ironically, I don’t believe it hurt business or affected the economy at all. I ended up in a restaurant, it was packed.

So Mayor Bloomberg, I give you credit for being the stand up man you are and dealing with an unrelenting News force, that only wants ratings.

And just to be clear, if it snows again, it probably will melt. I don’t think global warming is happening this year, if it was, I would have nothing to write about because there would be no snow in NYC.

Thank you for listening to my snow rant.

I Know I Said I Wasn’t Blogging This Week but…

I do have to pay homage to Neiman Marcus.

I bought several gifts from both the brick and mortar store and the online store. Amazing, the online store puts it right on the homepage, free shipping and how to get it. You don’t have to hunt around like you do with most online stores. Perfect.

I ventured into one of their family owned stores, Bergdorf’s in NYC. It is a must see store when visiting Manhattan. Everything is flawless. Blows the competition away like Barney’s and Saks (although the Holiday windows at Saks are impressive).

Something is happening at the corporate level where they have made all the right decisions, and I for one, really love that as a consumer. I would like to state that I have no affiliation with the store in any way and I don’t even know anyone that works there (except one exceptional salesperson).

And in the end, the advertising gets us into the store, but the actual in-store experience is what is etched into our minds. Forever.

In this competitive environment, I am amazed at how well they do. Haven’t seen their balance sheet, but I have seen the customer interaction first hand, and that is among the best of the best. And it must be hard to be a high-end store when the economy is just…bad.

So check out the after Christmas sales. Give ‘em a try. There is no way you will be disappointed in any part of the buying or receiving process. That is my advice to you. As you all know, I can be extremely (relentlessly) critical. But I have not one bad thing to say about Neiman Marcus.

So there you have it.

I Am Reposting This

Hi all!  This was one of my more popular posts of the last year, so I thought I might throw it back here front and center. This sparked much conversation and I received an overwhelming amount of emails about it! So for those of you that didn't read it the first time...

Where does an idea come from? Ideas, or creativity, come from the right side of the brain according to most, take a look at the classic book for art newbies Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain. So do creative people have bigger right brains? I doubt that. Maybe they can just tap into that side more often and more opportunistically than left-brain thinkers. But can the two be separated? I'll leave that up to the scientists.

But it is a known fact that the creative portion of our brains is on the right. So how do we tap into that? I have no idea, neither do the scientists. One thing that I do know is that once that access, that secret door, that maze of our minds leads us to a new thought, a new idea, a new…anything…we truly have a cathartic moment. We don’t usually recognize when it happens, it just happens.

I am going to take a second for a shameless plug for my partner, Savannah Gregory. She is an illustrator by heart, but got caught up in the advertising world. She does something that I feel is a lost art. She uses her brain with the assistance of a pencil and paper. She draws. Starting with only three tools – paper, pencil, brain. Only then does she use the computer and its various tools.

But in the digital age, these skills are rare, almost non-existent in the advertising business today. In my humble opinion, they are crucial. I learned Photoshop, Illustrator and InDesign myself. I can put real heads on fake bodies, I can retouch some flab on a celebrity, even airbrush some flab out – but I can’t create something. Since it is Fall, I will use a Fall analogy.  I can use Photoshop to make leaves blood red, slowly and aimlessly falling in crimson colors, vibrant yellow, partially dying reddish brown – but I can’t make the trees do it themselves. In other words, true creativity comes from nature, the nature of the trees, the nature of the brain.

So back to the idea. If you want to work in advertising in a design capacity, start with the three tools mentioned above. The computer is a wonderful sublime helper to enliven, make the impossible possible, make the real surreal (too bad Salvador was only on the cusp of the computer era, but still you can learn from him here).

Take a look as these illustrations (again shameless plug). They were all done starting with paper and pencil. If you are in the business now, go back and hone these skills. If you want to be in the business, start with the three simple tools. If you want your children to be creative, give 'em the tools.

I can’t say or write enough about how much creativity starts with a simple inspiration and the access to that brain door where someone is on the other side trying to slam it closed, and you the owner is shoulder to door breaking it down.

‘Twas the Day Before Christmas

Yep, it’s almost here, and most of you probably have the day off. Unfortunately, if you are like me, you have procrastinated and you will be rushing out with the mass of procrastinators, all in the same mood, hating for waiting till the last minute and ready to get into a good retailer fight about inventory that has been off the shelves for weeks.

So here are my instant gift suggestions for the lazy procrastinators out there. (These work for any holiday like birthdays, anniversaries, etc, so keep them on hand). Enjoy.

1.    The Fake Gift.

All you need is a printer. You make up a fake gift certificate for some action (incredibly nice one) that you will do. Be creative in the writing. For instance, “You work so hard each day, sometimes you need to play, and I want to see your face gleaming, so I bought you month of house cleaning.” Of course the ‘alleged’ cleaning will take place at some point in the spring and by that time, so many other issues will come up, it will be totally forgotten by most. It works well. And worst case, if you are called on it, then you have to follow through - but it saved you a lot of time in the end. You just need to buy a nice card to put the fake certificate into.

2.    The Surprise.

This is also written in a card. You say something like…Christmas is filled with so much confusion and so many presents, some needed and some useless. I wanted something you could remember. So sometime in the near future, your gift will be a total surprise out of nowhere, you won’t see it coming, but it is the ultimate gift I could think to give you to make this season really stand out for you.

3.    The Key.

This is a little more complicated. Good if you open presents in a group. You need to buy a small box that has a key. You hide the box. You put the key in a card with a note that says something like, ‘this is the key to your present, the present is too special for everyone else to see. Eventually, you will find the secret behind the key.’

So again, you’ve bought yourself some time. At some point, you have to buy a present, get the key and of course lock it up. But you have so much time to do that and the mystery is great.

4.    The Ultimate Date.

Perfect one. You need the card. Write in it that your gift is the ideal date of the person’s choosing, can be anything, totally their call. The great thing about this is that you don’t even have to plan it and they will probably pick something less extravagant then you would, were you trying to impress.

5.    You’ve been Kidded.

This is for the ones of you with no heart (potentially). You can adopt a child from another country, get any old google image, put it in a frame with a note: I adopted Shebinaina from Ubekinestina, one of the poorest and unknown parts of Africa. Thanks to you, she will be able to eat for the next year. Heart wrenching. Easy. I do suggest you do go through with it, several organizations can help you, but at least again, you bought some time.

6.    Music Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

Simply do a google search for the top love songs of all times. Download about 15 or so that aren’t too sappy. Burn ‘em on a CD and there you have it! This works with those you may also have no idea of a gift for, obscure aunt, mother-in-law, etc., you just have to know the person’s approximate age, and then go to a list of greatest hits of the years when that person was a teen, then download your music. There you have it!

So avoid the stores this last day. Or if you wanna give that one extra little something to show how thoughtful you are, the above suggestions will do it!

Enjoy. Have a Merry Christmas, or whatever Holiday you celebrate this time of year! And let me know if any of these saved you at the last minute. Would love to know I helped out my readers!

Too Much Stuff!

It is estimated that there have been over 500,000 million apps downloaded for the iPhone, not to mention the ones never released or in development. Now according to Apple, over 51 million iPhones have been sold. Do the math. And that is just the iPhone. And considering such bizarre and questionable apps such as iFart, Annoy-a-Teen, Cat Photo Clock Light, iBlackout … you got to wonder, do we really need all this stuff? According to reports, iFart sold about a million.

We used to be inundated with advertising. Now we are in a deluge of apps. Some helpful, most just time wasting and useless.

So where do we go from here? What is the next ‘thing?’ Four Square, twat, twit, flogger, B-gonner? Can’t we just get back to basics and give us simple, useful content? After all, isn’t that is what the web is for? Searching for content (which Google knew well before we all did) that is relevant to what we want is the norm I think. Am I wrong? Or should I just write an new app to make a quick buck?

You tell me. (And I refuse to link to these inane apps in the iTunes store).

Sex, Sex Sex

It seems, as we have all learned, sex does in fact sell. That is why it is so refreshing to see an ad with some good ol' fashion violence. If you haven't seen it, this is really funny. Sorry for the quality, but you will get the point...



Thank you Sprint for not going the default route of sex! Enjoy!

SNL Still Has It!

As we all know, the writing on Saturday Night Live has been hit or miss over the years. There’s never been a shortage of talent, but sometimes what sounds good on a script doesn’t cut it on the stage.

But this fake Dirty Catheter Ad is hilarious. I didn’t even know that ‘cathing’ was a thing. And the greatest line, ‘I was afraid to talk to strangers, but these strangers quickly became my friends.





Funny and strange, right? Well, the really funny thing is that it isn’t a SNL fake spot. It is a REAL AD! I mean, where did they focus group test this one? Women's prison? County with the lowest IQ per capita? Narcotic's Annonymous? The company is Liberty Medical, and boy, it ranks up there among the weirdest of the weird.

Julian Assange Might Learn About Irony

If you aren’t a Gawker fan, you probably should be. But don’t stop reading or RSSing my blog, even though it's a great site.

Amazing to me from an advertising standpoint that wikileaks is something we all know about – hard not to, unless you live in a cave like Osama Bin Laden (but he does have the internet connection and does do a decent job of his ‘want the world to die’ message). But wikileaks didn’t even advertise. Talk about the ultimate in viral, word of mouth, media manipulation advertising.

But back to my main point. You must know Julian Assange by now. The alleged rapist turned “obscure ‘news’ reporter.” Well, Gawker did get him back. They have published a series of emails that he wrote to 19 year old ‘Elizabeth.’And you can see how totally crazy he is by reading this. How he got so many unpaid people to work for him, I will never know. But weirdo, nerd, hiding from the authorities Julian - Gawker has shown him a thing or two about releasing documents.

He just got released from British police today, so I hope he has an internet connection and can see first hand how weird he really is. Whether he is providing a ‘worthy’ service to the world – I will leave that up to the politicians and powers to decide. I personally, just think he is a creep, wanting attention.

Part 2: Conversation Between Bon Jovi and President Obama

After the first conversation, there was a follow up…

 

Bon Jovi: Hi Mr. President, this is Jon again.

Obama:  I don’t know anybody by that name.

Bon Jovi:  Jon Bon Jovi

Obama:  (silence)

Bon Jovi: White House Council for Community Solutions

Obama:  Oh, yeah. Hey Jon.

Bon Jovi:  I was wondering, do I get a special hat or something?

Obama:  Hat?

Bon Jovi:  Yeah. When Bono was made a knight, he got that shoulder tap thing with the sword, and I think a medal on a cool ribbon, and special wardrobe. I am kinda between looks right now anyway.

Obama:  Well, we don’t do that here.

Bon Jovi:  Not even the hat?

Obama:  No, I’m sorry.

Bon Jovi:  Am I Sir Bon Jovi now?

Obama:  Were you in the military, hold a high rank?

Bon Jovi:  No

Obama:  Well, I guess not then. I see those guys all around here, saluting and saying -  ‘Yes Sir. No Sir.’ But they have uniforms.

Bon Jovi:  Do I get a special ring, like winning the Super Bowl?

Obama:  No ring.

Bon Jovi: What did Katy Perry get?

Obama: Well, she did get a hat, and um, some other things.

Bon Jovi: She got a fu#%ing hat?

Obama: Well, just a beret thing.

Bon Jovi: Prince wore one of those. Why can’t I get one?

Obama: She did get some other stuff, but I can’t say. I could maybe arrange for a kilt for you.

Bon Jovi: I’m not gay.

Obama: Oh no, they are really cool. It could be your new look.

Bon Jovi: Did Katy Perry get one?

Obama: No. She just got the government assistance package. Just a small amount of money. Less than 30 million really.

Bon Jovi: Kilt huh. Sounds different. Think I did that once, can't remember. Could be my new look.

Obama: Totally awesome for you.

Bon Jovi: Please don’t talk like that Mr. President.

Obama: Dude, I’m just saying. You would rock that look.

Bon Jovi: I totally would. Can it say New Jersey on it? I am still living in the shadow of Bruce who thinks he owns this state. This new kilt thing could get me into the Hall of Fame. They turned me down the first time, remember?

Obama: I can help with that too. It’s in Buffalo, right?

Bon Jovi: Cleveland.

Obama: Oh, West Virginia. I’ve been there. Can get you in.

Bon Jovi: OK, thanks. When do I get the kilt?

Conversation Between Mr. Bon Jovi and President Obama

As you may have heard, with the White House having some PR problems these days, they needed some creative solutions. They turned to Jon Bon Jovi, a big supporter. I think this is how the real conversation went…

Obama:  Hey Jon, been smokin’ up a storm here, trying to figure out a solution to our PR problems.

Bon Jovi:  Well Mr. President, I have always been a supporter. But what can I do?

Obama:  Well, your music is great and I hear you are still pretty popular.

Bon Jovi:  Yeah, been lucky. What’s your favorite song I do?

Obama:  Well, um, that, um…”Come on Feel the Noise” was great.

Bon Jovi:  Mr. President, that wasn’t me.

Obama:  Oh, I know, just playing with you. My favorite is, “Like a Prayer”

Bon Jovi:  That was Madonna. I did “Livin’ on a Prayer.”

Obama:  Love Stinks?

Bon Jovi:  J. Geils.  Um, were you thinking “You give love a bad name?”

Obama:  Oh, yes, loved it! Got it piped through the big house’s audio system right now.

Bon Jovi:  I don’t hear anything.

Obama:  Well, for security, my office is set up a little different.

Bon Jovi:  So what can I do for you Mr. President?

Obama:  Well, like you, I am a creative guy. So I made up this Office of Community Solutions.

Bon Jovi:  Sounds…a little ambiguous.

Obama:  Well, had to have a government like name.

President Obama gave a big hat tip to kindness today, signing an Executive Order to create the first-ever White House Council for Community Solutions. According to a news release, the council will provide advice to the president on the best ways to mobilize citizens, non-profits, businesses and government to work more effectively together to solve specific community needs.  more…

Obama:  I need you to mobilize citizens, you know.

Bon Jovi:  Sounds like a job for the Police. Not the Roxanne, Police.

Obama: Oh, I loved that show. That Roxanne is a funny lady. But anyway, I want to appoint you as part of the council. I have 24 other people, but nobody really knows who they are.

Bon Jovi:  Like, Who, Who are you?

Obama:  Yes, exactly. And I thought you could bring in the young people.

Bon Jovi:  I’m 48.

Obama:  Katy Perry said no.

Bon Jovi:  Oh, I see. OK. Can you maybe plug my new CD in like a speech or something, one of those public address things?

Obama:  You’ve got it.

Bon Jovi:   Do you need autograph photos or anything for the live speeches, tours, or whatever you do?

Obama:  Naw, Katy Perry said yes to the autographs.