All about the Mes

OK, I have writer’s block. Oh no, please don’t feel sorry for me. It’s a real condition according to several psychologists. How they can write about writer’s block is a little tough for me to comprehend. Isn’t that like telling someone who knows how to ride a bike that sometimes they can’t, yet you can’t actually tell them that because you aren’t able to, regardless of whether they can still get on the bike and just ride away? I admit, a little bit of a confusing analogy, but after all, I do have ‘writer’s block.’

So forgive my lack of words. I guess technically, by definition alone, nothing written above or below this actually exists due to my condition. I guess I am channeling deep into my schizophrenia to even be able to type right now. And quite frankly, ‘Me number 2’ kinda scares me sometimes. So I guess I am writing as Me number 2, so please, don’t pay attention. Me number 1 is quite interesting at times, but I don’t understand him much. And when he gets writer’s block, well, he doesn’t communicate much at all.

Now Me 3, he is the real entertainer. Can write, can sing, dance, play guitar, piano, harmonica, and also keep astounding beat on a fairly mean drum machine. That of course, is if Me 1 and 2 just let him be. But after all, none of us know each other, so I guess it really doesn’t matter all that much.

As Me 2, I too, am afraid to write. (Try and work the three twos into one nine word sentence like that!) Which does make things even more confusing, that is if you are keeping up with one of me.

But come on, is ‘writer’s block’ really real? Arguably, if you can speak, you can write it down. So if asked to explain your writer’s block in written words, by definition, it would be impossible, right? You could only explain it, and if the person you were explaining it to were, let’s say be deaf, you would have to write it out for them. Wouldn’t that be an instant cure? Is there such a thing as ‘speaker’s block?’  My guess is no. But wouldn't that be a dream come true if it became an epidemic in the Washington DC area?

Alas, I digress. I am here to argue that there is no such thing as this so called 'writer's block.' It is an oxymoron of sorts. I am sure many would disagree with this assessment. And that is fair, if you do, please write to me and explain it. Oh sorry, you couldn’t do that I guess.

Writing is one of the three fundamental ‘R’s’ of our education right? Well, I guess they didn’t get that right either (Reading, Writing, Arithmetic). That would be RWA one would think. But not that catchy like OCD or ADD, so I guess they just went with the bastardized alliteration.

So I am trying to explain the three mes, although there is no plural of me, that word is we. But how can mes be we if there is only one me? Are you confused yet? I better let Me 1 finish this. (Apparently, he is suddenly cured).

Me 1 here. I think writer’s block is simply procrastination. Don’t get all Psycho on me and try to explain it, it really just is. And boy, it is a great excuse, cause by definition, you don’t really have to explain it now, do you?

According to the really smart people out there, writer’s block is real. So USE IT! Next time you have to write anything, just simply go with writer’s block. Tons of articles you can Google about it. And you can’t get fired for it, cause after all, it is a real condition.

When your next deadline is approaching,  and you just don’t want to do what you have to do, simply use the writer’s block excuse. You can’t be fired for it, or you would have a nice, juicy lawsuit on your hands.

I’m sorry, gotta run. Me 2 and 3 are really fighting inside my head, and someone has to send them a memo or something. Sucks for Me 1, given my condition and all.

And quite frankly, I just can’t think of anything else to write.